Thursday, March 22, 2012

Missing her still

Well today is March 17, 2012 and this marks the 7th birthday that I have spent without my mother. As anyone who has read my blog with any regularity knows, my mother died unexpectedly in November 2005.

Her birthday is today and even though it has been 7 years, it still feels like it was just yesterday that I said I love you for what would be the last time.

In a letter that I sent to my husband last week, I was telling him how much I missed my mom and I asked him when this would get easier and while I haven't received his reply yet, I am sure he is going to say something like "I know this day is going to be hard on you. Just know that I am with you always and so are your memories of your mother. No one can take those away from you." I think he will also say something like "I don't think that this day will ever be easy for you but I do think it will become more bearable as time goes on." Yes. That's what I think he will say. I think he will also remind me that this is the last one that I will spend without him and that gives me great comfort.

Knowing that my husband is always with me, even from 3,000 miles away has given me the strength that I have needed to get through all these days without him. I just keep reminding myself how truely fortunate I am to have him in my life not only as my husband but as my very best friend.

There isn't a doubt in my mind that my mother would have loved my husband and he would have loved her. While their love of football would have surely connected them, I think that their love for me would have cemented them. My husband told me once that one day they would meet and he would get the chance to thank her for giving him me. So, even though my mother has been gone for 7 years, I am now and will always be...missing her...still.

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