As I sit here this morning, reading through all of my facebook posts, emails and blog comments, I am reminded how hard this journey is for the loved ones of those doing time. This blog is dedicated to those of you who are struggling to find the strength to get through this time away from the ones you love most.
I have often been told how strong I am to be doing this time without my husband or the support of my familly and while receiving a comment like "you are one of the strongest people I have met on this road so far!!" is very flattering, it is also very humbling.
I am no stronger than any of you. I am no different. Yes, my husband is in prison 3,000 miles away and yes I haven't seen him in over a year and a half and I haven't talked to him in over 3 months but does that make me stronger than any of you? No it doesn't. We all have our crosses to bear in this life we have chosen and no one person's pain is any greater or less than the others. You are all strong men and women. You just don't know it yet.
I have heard a lot of people asking God to give them the strength to endure what they must because of the life they have chosen and while prayer is always beneficial, I am a firm believer that God doesn't make you strong; the circumstances God gives you do. You will either rise to the challenge or fall flat on your face and if you do fall you must rise again and again and again.
Choosing to love an inmate is just that - a choice - and nothing about it will be easy. The time, the distance, the worry, the stress and the limited communication are enough to keep the strongest person down. However, if there is anything that you will learn throughout this journey it is that you are stronger than you think you are and stronger than anyone gives you credit for.
It's the easiest thing in the world to stay down when you have fallen. It takes true strength to keep getting back up. So to all of you who have fallen, remember this. I believe in you more than you believe in yourself. You will have days when you are squared up and ready to take on the world and you will have days when all you want to do is stay in bed with the covers over your head.
I guarantee that you will have more strong days than weak ones. How do I know? Because I have been where all of you are and I am still standing. This bid with my husband has not broken me so don't you dare let it break any of you either. It's ok to fall once in a while and it's ok to feel weak. You just always, always have to...keep gettin up!