Thursday, March 29, 2012

So close yet still so far

I am sitting here in my pyjamas and I should be excited to be leaving for Texas in four days and to be picking my husband up in six days but I am not. I found out last night that there was a possibility that my husband might not be coming home when we originally thought and today that was confirmed.

His release day has been delayed by nine days and while to some that may not seem like a lot, to me it is a lifetime. I have not seen my husband in a year and a half and I miss him most days more than my heart can take so this delay is a huge disappointment for me.

All the plans that I have made, the flights, the hotels, the car rental and child care must now all be changed and may need to be changed again if TDC decides to change his out date yet again. I miss my husband and I want to see him and I want to see him in six days not 15 days.

My husband has been through more in this lifetime than any other man that I know. He is a survivor and most, if not all of what he has been through, has been alone. This is the one time in his life that he has someone that loves him unconditionally and would go to hell and back for him and the fact that he now has to wait an additional nine days to be released from prison is no doubt very disappointing for him as well.

While this setback could and maybe should have me questionning my resolve and if I have what it takes to see it through to the end, I will not now or ever let anyone keep me from my husband. He will always know that he can count on me and that I will never let him down. No matter what, we are we and it is that commitment and unwavering faith we have in each other that will get us through this. Together, we are unstoppable.

While my husband may just be a number to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, he is much more than that to me. He is my best friend, my partner and the love of my life but more importantly he is now and will always be...the best man I know...still.


  1. I happen to come across your blog, i hope by now you are a little closer to becoming that family once more and life will be a little kinder to all. Wishing you both all the very best on the next leg of your journey,

  2. Hi,

    I've just read through all your blog and really enjoyed your writing. I'm glad your husband is home now. Can you tell us what happened next since your last post?
    Anyway much luck to you and your family.

    Clair, Scotland UK.

  3. “…he is much more than that to me. He is my best friend, my partner and the love of my life.” – I was deeply touched with how much you adore and love your husband. It’s been almost a year since your post, and I hope that everything went well. I know that your husband went through a lot of things, and did something which I know he regrets. But I know that he can still see life in a different perspective, knowing that you are there to support and love him.

  4. I feel the pain. I know the pain. The emptyness! The numbness! Wishing, waiting an hoping. From when I wake in the morning to the lonely nights. Soaking my pillows with tears. When u most feel that no one cares, he should be out by now! But he's not! All I ask is when? When will I get to see your smile again. When will our daughter be able to have her daddy give her a bath and tuck her in at night? When

    A prisoners wife
    Bedford x

  5. Thank you for sharing your story. Has your husband been released yet?

    If you are interested in saving on calls from jail or prison, check out Cold Crib Communications.

  6. I understand what you feel completely. It's hard to have a loved one in the system and to be told so many different things and expecting the complete opposite. It must be a pain to have to rearrange all the set plans you had for him. I hope you are now happy with your spouse and wish you the best of luck!

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  7. Congrats on urs coming home. Mine did in april but my friends just went in and this petition is a sad attempt at heloing her any way we can
    Extended family visits petition for illinois prisons please sign ...

  8. I hope your ok and the "time" didnt "change" him to the extent of no return :( speaking from experience and wishing you all the luck in the world!

  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  10. I have been doing research on this as I am running a marathon and want to raise money for a cause I can get my stupid friends behind. I really can use your article to get people excited- my only question is if they need money for anything?

  11. Your thoughts and feelings are undistinguishable from mine. Your words are eloquent and sincere. This is my first experience with any portion of our criminal justice system and I am astounded. Perhaps I am contemptuous about this ridiculous attempt to rehabilitate men. Never-the-less, it was comforting to me to see that my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations are not unique. Thank you.