Today was one of those days where I was really hoping to get mail from my husband and I was not disappointed. As a matter of fact, I got a card that my husband had somebody make for me. It may have cost him a couple of soups but knowing him like I do it was more than worth it. It was absolutely stunning. At first, I thought it was a drawing for a tattoo that he might want but when I saw that it was in colour I knew that wasn't the case because my husband does not do colour. Then I thought maybe it was a tattoo that he had drawn up for me. Nope. That couldn't be it because no way would I have a skull tattooed on me. There is just no way. Well I opened up one flap of the perfectly folded paper and inside were 3 words - "I miss you" and I just fell to pieces because now I knew what the purpose of this card was and that was to let me know that he was thinking about me. I opened the next flap of the card and there was the most beautiful note from my husband inside. I know that I usually share some of the things that he says to me but I think for just this one time, I will keep this one all to myself. Just know that it made me cry because it was just so filled with his love for me just like everything he has ever written to me.
You know one of my friends said to me a little while back "I don't know how you do it. I would go bonkers if I didn't get phone calls." I guess when you are used to getting calls, you take them for granted a little bit. It's not that you don't appreciate them. You just know the calls will always come and so staying connected to your spouse is a little easier because you can communicate in real time. But when the chips always seemed to be stacked against you and you don't get calls or visits and your only communication is by letter, you quickly realize that you either need to square up and fight for each other or turn turtle and run. Sure it requires a little more effort but that's how we do it and while our conversations are never in real time and could lead to a lot of misinterpretations, in the year that he has been gone, there has not been one time where we have miscommunicated and that is because being together and making it work is the only thing that matters. There is nothing more important to me, in this life, than my husband and my children and I know that the same is true for him. He told me once that when he thinks I am upset with him it's impossible for him to do time so I have never given him a reason to think that I am.
The prisons in the State of Texas may very well be the most ass backwards facilities in the USA and they try their best to keep him down but one thing I know for sure and that is that we cannot and will not ever be torn apart. We are committed and connected. We have a love for one another that is indescribable and together we are unstoppable and those are the ties that bind.