Yesterday was a really good mail day for me. I received a card from a new friend in New Mexico, a letter from a new friend in Texas and three letters from my husband. I can't explain what it's like to see an envelope with my husband's name in the top left corner. I can barely contain my excitement and I can't get the envelope opened fast enough to read what he has written. It just simply makes my whole day. My husband says the same thing. He lives for his mail and he knows to expect at least three letters a day from me every day. I have not missed one single day of writing for the last 482 days and I will continue until the day my husband walks through those prison gates and into my arms. He has such complete faith and trust in me that he knows if he doesn't get mail on any given day that it's time to let the mailroom know and you can bet that he knows exactly what days are missing.
Everything that we feel for each other is poured into these letters and if anyone were to read them, there would be no question as to the love we have for each other. It's the kind of love that gives you butterflies and can take your breath away. It's the kind of love that you never doubt because you know it will always be there. It's the kind of love that no matter the distance will never lose it's place. It's the kind of love that can take you from the darkest places in your mind to the warmest places in your heart. It's the kind of love that makes you forget what your life was like before because that life no longer matters. It's the kind of love you've wished for your entire life and you finally have. It makes you better...It's home.
My husband tells me all the time that I am everything to him and I don't think I really understood the magnitude of what that meant until I got these last three letters from him. He mentioned how we used to talk and laugh all the time when we were together. He was amazed at how I never had to ask him when something was wrong because somehow I always knew. I am not sure I can explain it but it's just sort of a sense thing that I have with him. I can just feel it. The minute he would walk through the front door, I knew. Maybe it was the expression on his face or maybe it was the way he sat down or maybe it was just they way he said "hey", but I knew that if I let him come to it on his own, he would tell me and it would come out naturally and not forced. I remember meeting my husband for the first time and how I felt like I had known him all my life. There was a familiarity and a comfort that I had never had before. So, that's how I knew then and that's how I still know now. I just feel it.
Now that my husband finally has a radio, he listens to music all day and most times when he writes to me, he sends music home for me to listen to you. If you knew my husband at all, you would know that when he wants me to listen to something, it has meaning to him and nine times out ten it's going to make me cry and he did not disappoint me this time. He asked me to listen to several songs but one in particular affected me so much that I had to write about it. "Except for the brown hair", he said "this song was written about you. I just hope that when you hear it that you know where I'm at and for those few minutes of the song, we are together at that moment." Like he says "music and songs don't mean anything and yet they can mean everything."
So, while my husband may feel that I am everything to him, he is everything to me...and more.