Well, today I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I received two more letters from my husband and I am absolutely over the moon about that. But the good news doesn't stop there. Nope. My husband told me that after six long months he has finally been approved to make a call to me! The minute I read those words in his letter, I burst into tears. I couldn't believe what I was reading so I read it again and then I read it one more time just to be sure. I re-read every word of that sentence three times really slowly in case I wasn't reading what I was seeing.
You see, I had resigned myself to the fact that, as long as my husband was in a Texas prison, I would never again hear his voice and that thought absolutely devastated me. There really are no words to express what it feels like to be told that the one voice you love more than any other, is the one voice you won't hear again for possibly a very long time. It's hard enough being 3,000 miles away from him and never seeing him but to never hear his voice again as long as there was this physical distance between us was just about more than I could take.
Every night, I sleep with the phone by my bed just in case and every night I pray that he will be allowed to call me and every morning I wake up and I am reminded of the reality that he didn't get to call. While my husband was in the county jail in Texas, he was allowed to call me as often as he wanted and that helped both of us immensely. We always knew that the other was alright and that was of great comfort and at times all we needed was just to hear the other say "I love you" and we could handle anything. So, when he was transferred to prison and we realized that he wouldn't be able to call anymore, we were both heartbroken but we both knew that "we" would always be OK. There wasn't anything that had happened or was going to happen that would change that.
I was telling my husband that a little while ago, I found out that sometimes those that get regular calls don't answer them because they are at an inconvenient time or simply because they want to punish their husband or wife for an argument they may have had. My husband said "soulmates can't help but answer. The connection makes us even if we are asleep and it's late. Our other half might need us and that's the whole reason for our existence so those people will never get it. Besides all that matters is us."
If I've learned anything at all from this time away from my husband and not being able to talk to him, it's that life is about little moments and it's those little moments, like a five minute phone call every six months, that are truly the things that mean the most. So, even if that five minute phone call never comes, I will always know in my heart that we will always be "we" and nothing else matters.