Saturday, August 20, 2011

Another week down!

So, another week down. For some reason, this week has felt really long to me. I haven't been sleeping very well at all. Every night I wake up at least 4 times and look at the clock and the picture of my husband sitting on my nightstand. Funny thing is, I wake up for no reason. There is no noise. It's not too hot or too cold. I just wake up. I guess I shouldn't say it's for no reason because I firmly believe and know in my heart that my husband is up at the same time. We have a connection that can't be described. I remember when he used to call me and I would tell him that I woke up at a certain time and he would say that he was up at the same time. At first we both thought it was coincidence. I mean we are 3,000 miles away afterall. Now we don't even question it. I know he's up and he's thinking of me and missing me just as am I thinking of him and missing him.

I am finding it tough to get through this weekend because I don't know where he is or how he is doing. The only thing I do know is that he is not where he should be and that's home with me. I cannot describe to you the emptiness I feel not being able to talk to or see my husband. I have tried to keep busy. I have tried to focus on other things but my heart really is 3,000 miles away with the best man I have ever known.

If you've read my previous posts, then you know that my husband caught chain Wednesday night so right now I have no idea where he is. The thought of him getting on a prison bus chained to the man next to him, dressed in prison whites and having no idea where he is going and worrying about not being able to get a message to me, is almost more than I can stand. I know that he is strong and that he will do what he needs to do to come home safely. I just wish he didn't have to do it.

Today I took our daugther to see Harry Potter and we had a good time. After the movie, we played a few arcade games and for a brief moment, when we were playing air hockey, I was just in that moment and then I thought about how fun it would be if we were all together as a family eating popcorn, laughing and playing air hockey. I think nowadays, families take each other for granted. Everyone does their own thing. Families don't even eat a meal together anymore. Someone's watching TV. Someone else is in the home office working and someone else is in their room on their laptop or not at home at all. Families are becoming disconnected and we take each other for granted because we assume that our family will always be there for us. For those that are lucky enough to have a family that will support them and stand by them no matter what, count yourselves so very lucky. Family is what you make it and while I may be physically 3,000 miles away from my husband, we couldn't be closer.

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